If I were a jolly blacksmith What a happy guy I'd be I would do all kinds of blacksmith stuff In my blacksmithery I would hit the thing With the other thing 'Till I made a different thing! If I were a jolly blacksmith! No, I'm not feeling it Besides, I'd get filthy There must be something better Ooh! If I were a friendly farmer Wouldn't that be oh so sweet? I'd be planting greens and lots of beans And other things to eat Then I'd plant some eggs, then a couple pigs Then a yummy chocolate cake! No, that's not right Besides, any moron can plant a cake I want to be special, needed, liked! I've got it! If I were a merry brewer That would be a grand career I would pick the grapes and peel the grapes And stomp them into beer Dammit! I don't know how to do anything except be a programmer!